India - My Life within and without

Today is the first Thanksgiving after I have started living away from HIM; it felt bad, a bit, but only for few moments. I had a fun time last night with a friend, few queries and many thoughts to share.

I woke up in the morning, with lazy feel as if its another day. It actually was, for me...or say for resistant Indian - American me. I made Kheer for my work kids, reached at work and cooked more stuff. Kids were excited, cos its thanksgiving, its the best time of the year, fun time, family time, harvest time and Holiday time; when the time came to eat, the family dinner, it wasn't even a family. Few kids ate, few slept on the floor & couch and few refused to eat, it was just a shelter for homeless kids.

A 16 year old kid was invited by his brother for dinner at his place, and he was so looking forward to it. Around 9 he came back, I asked him excitedly about his good time with family....he said that family was not even there. I was speechless, I said nothing but made him plate of dinner with turkey, yams, cranberry, kheer, pie and all we made for the special day...He ate quietly, probably hoping to have a thanksgiving dinner with his family, some day.

I was invited by a friend for dinner at her place. I took an hour off and went to see her and her grand ma. I was happy that someone, at least someone invited me for thanksgiving dinner. It was a good feeling, but I didn't even eat at her place, met her, had few words about life, gave her wine and went back to work. I missed my family and remembered that they haven't called me since long long time. I haven't called them either. I won't call this time...I want to feel that they want me, I want them to miss me, so they feel my pain at least once in life time.

Family, Friends, Love, and sharing...this is what thanksgiving is all about to me. I gave whatever was possible for me to give, and I still give whatever I am able of, but.......

Why do we refuse to give; love, care and feelings. Why don't we just understand that the person in front needs the same love and care, as you? Why? Why can’t we just live and let live? Why? Why can't we be just ourselves and stop the hate?

Right now, thinking of my work kids, I am wishing and hoping that I have a big home (house) and I have the ability to raise many kids; nicely; happily; positively and without any predictions...just living!

Amen!