India - My Life within and without

How was my childhood in India...let me think!!! Hmmm being a girl was not the easy way out...but I always bring the best of past moments and use them to inspiring me. But the only reason I don't think of those moments which were truthful but sad, cos I don't want to become my Mom...defiantly not.

Not because she is a typical house wife but because she let my father treat her this way. She let my father stop her from working and earning and being independent. She was a Fashion designer at the age of 19 in India, and she had a wonderful army background...but the moment my Nana jee finalized her wedding with my father, thats it...it was the destiny and she served to everyone from that day and she still is doing same. I feel I am creative cos I have her genes...

My father is a typical Punju man...He would order the food & it should be ready. When we were growing up, Papa used to help Mom in kitchen but only limited work, when my sister was 10 or so...she took over and from that day onwards I haven't seen him even getting up for the glass of water, forget other chores. When Didi got married Mom was alone to do house chores as I was all the time busy with college and my theater and she wanted me to pursue a professional life, but at that time Papa became more of a typical and conservative when it came to cooking or cleaning the house.

We are three sibling, My Bro, Sis and then me...I was the youngest so I didn't went through all that bad parts of life what my sister went through. My sister was just in 6th grade (approx 10 yrs old) when she started helping Mummy in kitchen and house. She use to sweep and clean the whole big house and Mom used to cook...And me & my brother used to play and fly kites...I remember giving orders to my sister for something or other...and she used to always fulfill them. I was not aware what I was doing, Truthfully, I was pushing myself away from her....I guess this is why we are not too close to each other and I am more closer to my brother.

When I started going to high School, Didi was in college and she was still doing everything around house and today she is still involved with similar things...she has two kids, and she have to serve to her husband and two kids....When I look at her, I think of our childhood and then I cry...She had a right to play, to enjoy life as a kid but she got opposite she had to kill herself in kitchen... Time came when I realized that this is not fair, and this need to change. I took my brother's help and we gave big lectures to Papa & Mummy, when ever we found a chance we grabbed it...it took us years of lectures and refusing papa's wishes to reach to a point....but we did changed his mentality. Now a days he behaves better with my Mom, although he never had raised hand on her and he never do(Thank God) but in general view I never found his attitude as wonderful as it should have been. This has helped my Bhabhi more than it could have helped my Mom...Mummy has never changed and I hate it that she never get to take a day off, unless she is really sick....and this sucks.

Once my Father came to visit me in Bombay, I was living alone and I had weird schedule for my shooting and auditions...he had to live with it. I stopped cooking in advance as I might have to run right away after I get call or so...then he started boiling food, making chai, dal and stuff...I remember one day he told me that I wont buy salad stuff for this week...I asked why to papa kehte hain...yaar Chawal daal banane mein hi meri halaat ho jaati hai, salad banane tak to kafi thak jaata hun....I guess he started realizing from that time onwards.

Now sometimes I see my brother behaving the same way my father used to, but luckily my Bhabhi is not like my Mom who will let it be or who will listen to all crap husbands has to give. She always makes sure, My brother helps her in kitchen and their kid's studies and all....I am proud that she is doing it...Genes are changing after all...

I luckily got all freedom I wanted at my parents place, probably because I was the youngest OR may be all noticed Didi and learned a lesson.....When I grew old and started thinking straight and started planning for my own life, the very first thing I thought I don't want to become my Mummy I decided few things for me.

1. I will have my earnings no matter what happens and I don't care if it will come in between my marriage

2. I will Choose what I want to be not what my parents and husband want me to.

3. I will not change my last name and I will not let anyone over shadow my personality.

4. I will marry a guy who is half partner in everything be it marriage, house chores or earnings.

5. I will not give birth to a kid until I will have good savings...

I am living on my terms...and I am following my dreams...it may is not easy to follow your dreams in on ego but keeping yourself focussed brings me satisfaction and happiness...I am not my Mom, but I look exact her....and I am proud of a family who has the ability to change and who has a ability to accept change.



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