India - My Life within and without

There was a time in my life when I was emotionally dependent on 4 things/people in my life.

1. My Female cat - Dudette
2. My Male cat - Monk
3. My Advertising Agency - Fearless
4. My Husband - HIM


Almost 2 years ago, the time came - when I chose to join my husband and his family in USA to live happily ever after for ever. I got rid of all materialistic things & all important/unimportant stuff and moved here. Sadly, I couldn't bring my cats so I had to give them away.

Monk, who was my lovely baby, went with Mish and I am happy that she actually loved and cared for him alot.

My brother wanted to keep Dudette, I took Dudette to him and my parents. Dudetteis always going to be my very first baby. She was a beautiful gift from HIM. She was always there with me when I went through severe depression and when I all alone in life.

I had to close my advertising agency, so I fixed all accounts, paid everybody got rid of all work and clients and holding HIS hand I entered in USA.

USA is a beautiful country, lovely clean place, also known as the land of opportunities and dollars. I dont know if if opportunity and dollars came into my hand, but I started missing my life in Mumbai specially my professional life at Fearless.

Fearless died first, with our (husband & I) hopes of better love and best living in US.

Then Dudette ran away from my parents house and even after everybody tried hard to find her, she was untraceable. Some one told my brother that she is dead.

With time things went upside down so much that I had to leave HIM and the relationship died. The relationship which started before anything else I mentioned above.

Today morning, I got email from Mish that few days back Monk passed away.

I lost everything. Today I am empty hand and I am back to where I started. When I met HIM, I was living alone in Mumbai, struggling to be an actress. Then came Fearless and then Dudette, followed by Monk. Today I am all alone, struggling and living a life to be the one who is real 'VJ' Life is hard today, and a bit harsh too but...

On the positive note, I would like to remember one old thought - "when every thing comes to an end, a new life starts' & 'after fall comes spring'

Even if I am all alone, all by myself and broken, I believe, this is The End of old chapter of my life and here starts my new life, a new chapter & my own search for myself.

I lived 14 years of Banwaas (exile)...now I am hoping to get atleast 28 best years of my life. I have been praying to that unknown, unseen God...hope to get blessings from friends, family and loved ones too :))) I am looking forward to that best life, which will help me come out of my 14 years of struggle and harsh days (1995 - 2008)


AMEN!!!


V