India - My Life within and without

OK, Its finalize now that getting a satisfying job is almost impossible for someone who has all her degrees from India(no matter how big they mean there) I either have to keep myself happy and satisfy or I have to take a degree in US so I can work happily and earn happily as well...

Well, I spent 3 weeks or may be more than 2 weeks and less than 3 weeks to keep both my heart and mind in one tune about I should go to school and get some professional degree ONCE AGAIN so I can learn, earn and burn myself in United States Of America...Which is a need of hour for me....(I will talk about that later)

My basic confusion was to go to full time school, in which I will miss life for 3/4 years at the age of 32 OR I should keep doing small time unsatisfactory jobs after having a nice career in India OR go back to India so I can start my career back...but that has other complication of relationships then...

I fought with myself, did some research and came to a conclusion that I want to have a professional life as I was never trained to be house wife, but a professional woman...So the research results says that I need to kill lots and tots of emotions and ambitions to get the biggest thought of life which is a better future as a professional working woman.


Now I have developed some fears, well not fear in a sense fears but as in worries but calling it worry seems a smaller word...


Yes I am worried and somewhere scared of going back to school, and may be a bit confused as well...Still...about I should or I should not join school.

First of all i was never ever a fast learner & on top of that I am never a person who learn from theories. I love learning from practical mean, its easy for me..I am fast in it.

Second, I left studies almost 10 years back. So I am not sure if I will be able to get a hang of school easily.

Third, when I cant think of starting studies in India then my going to school in US is like putting myself into the most horrifying experience.

And Of course I have some real time scary parts too:

1. Am I escaping struggles of life?

2. Will I become TYPICAL American?

3. Changing a career wont change my personality inside?

4. When will I have baby?

5. When & How will I go back to India?

6. What is wrong with me?

7. Do I think too much?

GOSH!!! what am I writing?

Well I have many fears, weirdest ones and scariest ones...guess if I knew future then it might be easy. Snehal is been laughing out loud at me and says I have the weirdest and funniest fears of going back to school...is it?