India - My Life within and without

Today is a Christmas eve, and alot is going on in my life at this point. last year I was pretty much depressed and sad at the end of year, this time I am at least better than that...am much satisfied in life at this point. US actually didn't treated me worse, it could have been bad and crazy. I am positive. Am I?

I use to write only Hindi Poetry and some journal, now I write everyday, not just blog but some confessions of life and some fictions...I haven't got the chance top write since 2/3 days and my body is acting weird, as if something is missing. AM I really missing somethings of life?

He is tired everyday, is it because he is over weight or because he is tired of me?

I hate spending on eating out, but I hate making fast food at home also. Why should one have to eat?

Cats don't love Him anymore, he feel sad about it...is it true that they can stop loving someone all of a sudden?

I want to go to India - but I know, I wont be able to go longer than I can think..does that bother me?

Its Xmas today.....I sent her msg, she hasnt responded yet, do you think she hates me, but why? Why would someone hate me? I have never hurt anyone, then why?

Do I really believe that I will get some gift from Santa this year? Who is my Santa, HIM? Yeah!!! I do take Him as my Santa. Should I ask him if he has gift for me or should I wait...do I really want him to spend money for my gift?

Sultaan & Chutki are hiding under futon, and am sitting on Dining table, doing some typo work....is this really a Xmas eve?

I do hate myself for not getting dressed nicely, is it sadness or is it simplicity or I am giving up?

What the heck am writing? DO I write for the sake of or for some reason?

Gosh!!!! I hate asking these questions from myself....But why?