India - My Life within and without

So yesterday I was coming back from my flower shop job (I work on weekends in a flower shop) and I was so sleepy and sun was extra shinning and it was crazy hot. I was tired as usual, and working 7 days a week was torturing me. I don't get a single day off the work to rejuvenate myself and feel fresh, on top of that I am so stressful about my financial condition since few weeks that I am working few extra hours here and few there

Well back to story about my driving back from work. I was listening to a story and interview on NPR (National Public Radio) it was about addiction and dependency on addiction etc. I was totally into the story and I was kept thinking about his addictions and his dependency and my life and him as my addiction in my life. I was driving on regular streets with 40+ speed where I am suppose to drive at only 35 and lower. I don't know what was I thinking. I didn't go through any accident and Thank God, I didn't fall asleep behind the wheel, but this thought occur all of a sudden to me and I was scared and started loud music so I don't fall asleep and drove home safely. OH gosh!!! I could have killed someone or myself, I could have gone through worse...I don't know why was I thinking too much about addiction, why was I insanely careful too.

I was not careless at all, I was driving safe..but why am I so worried that I might will have an accident, or is it the impact of the dream I had few days back where he killed me from cliff of a mountain in Jeep? I have no idea where this scary feeling is coming up from but I am scared, not scared of driving but to drive weird w/o a thought...I am listening to Hip hop (now a days its my style of music) but it keeps me up and running and I don't pay attention to my weirdest thoughts. I need a break, a break from daily same style routine and daily life, break from sad moments of life, break from marriage and its institution, break form generally works and behaviors of life...ah..but if I wont pay my bills I will get break from everything too...Priorities girl, choose your priorities...and I have chosen one - to earn and just to earn as much as possible so I can Learn and finish my college.

God Save me....he he he directly came from God Save America!!!! I just wanted to write random thoughts and here I did...should add more later...back to work in office.