India - My Life within and without

I saw "Mumbai Meri Jaan" today. Its a new Bollywood movie about Mumbai Bomb Blasts, which took place in July 2006. I was in Mumabi at that time. I was at home and was waiting for HIM to come home but he and his phone were far away from me and my networks. I was wondering on streets and waiting for HIM to come back.

In the evening, I cried like a baby when I came to know about these blasts. I prayed to God so many times for many peoples including HIM and I. Today after watching this movie I started a new painting. I am sure I will finish it in one day. Actually, I am planning to start 50,000 things at the same time and have no idea if I will ever finish them, but wants are wondering souls!!!...well I am sounding off track I know that. I am supposed to write about food wine and sex but I am skipping that topic for today and will write about it tomorrow or so.

Mumbai is in the west coast of India and its a very dirty, fast paced and fun city. It is like a Mom to those people who have moved from different part of India to Mumbai, in search of better life, money and better careers. Mumabi is crowded, but still it give space to one and all. I am nostalgic, not because I am missing Mumbai but also I think time is coming to accept the truth...(some other day about that truth) Mumbai is expensive but it pays you back many ways. It is known for its strong spirit and power. I have felt that power and lived that life... Life is the only thing which goes on and change is the only thing which never changes!

I have no idea what I started to write and where I am at...I am not going to read this and correct it, but will stay here and type. I left Mumbai, same year of bomb blasts. That disaster had a big hand in making me believe that I should try and live a life in different country. Another reasons were as big as that reason. Marriage and finances, love and happiness, sexual satisfactions and frustration, human development and resources....all are part of everyone's life. Being a normal human, I wanted all in me, with me. Three 'S' Security, Satisfaction and Self...brought me here, in US. I am happy...I am sad...I am fake...I am real. Los Angeles looks like Mumabi aka Bombay now and it has started becoming same way as it was in India for many including HIM and I. Los Angeles seems Mumabi to me and may be Mumbai will feel like Los Angeles to me one day! Amen!!

I sometimes regret leaving Mumbai and some times I am very happy to leave India. Actually running away was never my choice in life. I wanted to face real life so here i am...living and staying in US the A. I guess this is not running away and if this is then I am trying hard to go back on my tracks!

I guess I was not making sense or may be this was the most sensible I can be.

V.