India - My Life within and without

Some days back I was reading an article online, talking about what have you doing for your community. I read it and I was more confused. That night I sat and thought about for hours, what am I doing? It was sad to know that I am doing very little for the community I belong to, the culture I raised in and the country, which I dream of all day and all night. I started thinking of my future, where I want to serve my country not as a Government servant who sleep during the day and night, who take money ot do his duty he already is getting paid for and not even someone who live and try to rule one part of India by behaving like a politician but actual an ass.

I felt I need to do something which can bring many girls from sad harassments during childhood, embarrassing life during youth age and servant as wife when these woman feel they have found a partner for life. In old age these woman are called grand mothers but again, taking care of house, kids and old husband. When do these woman get rest? What is their life? Are these ladies born to serve only?
NO, defiantly not. they have power to be someone strong, some one who can change a human and make a human.

I finally found what I want to do for my community, for my life and for my country. My documentaries can help in bringing awareness, spread the word and bring a life to those people who deserve it....

Being a south Asian woman, I am proud to be a woman. I want to talk about those hidden feelings, those hidden causes which can give life to lifeless country....I need help for this. Help me with your experiences & your dreams about how you would like to change your community and I will try to turn them into reality.

Help me with your experience about south Asian woman. You can either leave a comment or email me. I will get back to you as soon as possible....

More to come:.....

I have been to Assam, many many times....specially during the stopover for Manipur. I love it. I have performed there as an actress many times too.....I love standing at a small bridge in Gawahati, while Brahmaputra is flowing beneath....and its dark all over...its quiet, and scenic and just calm...I love Kamkhsya mandir, driving there and waiting like a crazy bhakt in line for darshan....wow!!!

I miss those tours. I wish I could go back to my theater life and start doing all that once again. But....hate this word...but, I need money and a certain lifestyle to live now....hard to choose in between those two things. I can live and I can not live is also here, who knows why someone want to choose not to live what they love...Well, thats me.

I will go back to Calcutta and Assam once again, wearing my favorite tat ki sarees(I can handle sarees very well) and then will take the bus for Manipur, take lots of pictures and may be B roll for next documentary....I will do so, just don't know when.

OH!!!!!!! am just dreaming of my India, sitting in a typical office in Hollywood....what a irony, I want to go back to my world, my life but I just am so afraid of that life....I don't know where to start....and if I do start, where to go after that start....I am so impatient that want to know the future with one click of mouse.

Do you guys feel same way? Do you guys just want to take risks of life? Does anyone feel my way in this world....guess No or may be we all do want to fulfill our dreams, but we all are afraid of risks of what life can bring in our way...

I want to start a documentary, a very easy topic which is comfortable to start in India cos its happening all over, every where, each corner...and just don't have the courage to start as finances is a big deal for shootings....if I had some money to spare on my life, I would have finished it by now.
(Well, these ifs and buts have no replies for anyone)

I guess I have answered my all Questions myself....

I am sure the day will come when I will be doing things I dream for and those things what are risky but satisfying....I will. I am already on it, slowly, steady and very calm...

God Bless my dreams...
Love
VJ

This is writen by someone and was sent to me as a message on my networking site. I loved it alot so sharing it here:

Har paase hi dard hai, kis paase hoon das javan main
Har koi chad jaanda adh vichkar,das kisnu hoon apnavan main
Kami nahi si mere chehre nu kade vi haaseyan di
Hoon har koi hansda hai mere te,das kisnu hoon hansavanmain

Meri Zindgi ik adhuri kahani hai, das kis ton poori karavan main
Kaun mera jisnu main apna aakhan, das kisnu dukh sunavan main
Is bhari duniya vich lokan di koi vi kami nahi
Phir vi pata nhi kyon, khud nu ikala hi pavan main

Vehal jad vi mili hai mainu, apniyan majbooriyan ton
Vehle baith ke ik paase, apniyan aap nu hi sunavan main
Lehran vich ghire una samunder de pathran de vaang hi
Duniya diyan chota kha ke andron hi khurda javan main

Dekhya hai kayi vaar tamashagiran nu tamasha kardeyan
Sochda haan us tamashe vich, ik paatar hoon nibhavan main
Kar ke duniya nu ikatha tamasha dikhavan vaaste
Uchi aawaz vich sab nu,dukh apna hoon sunavan main

Aje vi hai mainu kujh khushiyan di aas
Ehi soch ke uss agge, hoon tak hath failavan main
Oh janda hai sab kujh usne hi likhi hai meri kismat
Phir vi kyon chaunda hai mann ki usnu haal apna sunavan main



Thanks poet...wish I could write this good....and wish I could share my views this way.