India - My Life within and without

Diwali is around the corner and I have no worries. I am not decorating the house, not buying new cloths, not going to live a life, I used to live, in India at Diwali time and obviously...I am not celebrating it. Not a deliberate decision but I can't, its just not happening. May be because, I have no one to celebrate it with or may be I choose not to celebrate.

Last year, I had HIM...this year I have no one. I know that was the time when I was ignoring, when I was getting ignored, when we were not quite talking to each other, when we were not ourselves, but then I had a hope of celebrations with him...a hope of going to neighbors and distributing candles and candies...and feeling good about it. I enjoyed those moments those ways...now its new world, new life :-)

Well to be frank, I have another hope in life now. I have other things to deal with. Shayad isi ko kehte hain - Celebrating, my festivals my ways..not traditional ways any more...reason is not US the A but I am my reason for the change...and remember Change is the only constant thing which is keep changing...So I am change...I am self!

The best part is Today I received my Diwali gift from India..my lovely friends sent it to me...Sweets and Coin. I cried, cos someone there loves me, cares for me. There is someone who I didn't hurt, and there is someone who doesn't hurt me. I know, My family will never ever send anything to me, by post, by courier or even with anyone. They will always say ki poocha to tha, tune nahin bataya ki kya chahiye. Oh ya!!!! I know why they don't send anything ever, cos its expensive to send gifts to anyone...specially their own daughter, own sister, own sibling. Well, its not expensive to receive...oh well no complains. I am happy cos I do have family...there are tons who have no one...

Today or say right now, I am high on life, My two articles got printed in news paper, my lovely friends sent me gifts for Diwali...I am working my ways up in life...and I am happy, peaceful and most important ALIVE!

Thank you friends for being there and being my family...Love you!!!!

ना तूफ़ान दिखा,
ना आंधी आई,
ना चमकी बिजली ही,
ना बुझी शमा ही...

बस यूँ ही गुज़र गया यह बरस भी,
बस यूँ ही बिगड़ गई उस की नज़र भी,
बस यूँ ही फेर ली गई शक्लो-सूरत भी,
बस यूँ ही देश अपना हो गया पराया,
बस यूँ ही उठ गया सर से वो साया,

दो साल हो गए आज...
छोडे उस मिट्टी को...
सूंघे उस खशबू को...
महसूस किए हुए,
उस शान की सभ्यता को...
जिगर से लगाये....
उस ईमान के इश्क को!

दो साल हो गए आज...
दो साल गुज़र गए
गुजरी यादों के साथ...

Copyright 2008 © Vim

सजाये ख्वाब खूबसूरत
लगाये प्रेम के उस पे धागे
बनाये आंखों की ज्योति से
रौशनी के लालटेन
एक नज़र ने तेरी ला बिठाया
आसमान के रंगीले बिस्तर पे...

अब हम हैं,
तुम हो,
इश्क है,
और पूरी ज़िन्दगी...
सँवारने को....

Copyright 2008 © Vim

सिलसिला यह तुम्हारी याद का
मिटता नहीं आजकल
मिटता है तो भरोसा ख़ुद से
उलझती सिमटती ज़िन्दगी में
उलझी सिमटी विम से

विम्मी