India - My Life within and without

So S. gave me topic for the day - Visit to Mumbai.....

Oh well, Visit to Mumbai...hmmm...When the very first time I landed from Rajdhani Express at Central station of Bombay, it was crowded & stinky. I was happy to see crowded station, full of excitement, full of people & kind of happening place...!!!

I was new to Bombay, a friend of a friend came to pick me up. We had never seen each other and cell phones were dreams for us. He had a pager, I had no phone at all. Anoop recognized me, dunno how but he did. I was still worried & scared to be with a guy who is unknown to me but I had a faith in my friend, which made me give a bright smile to Anoop. He took me to local station area, and I was introduced to local trains aka backbone of Mumbai.

I sat in weirdest looking train, empty and stinky. It was Sunday morning. The train took us to Nalasopara, one of the dirtiest suburbs of Mumbai. As I was not aware of Mumbai, so Nalasopara was also Mumbai for me. On the way, I saw Mumbai aka Bombay...the unknown city, the city of fun and the city of fast paced life.

We reached Nalasopara. After a cup of chai, the first thing I did was, checking and counting of my money and my bag thoroughly. I was paranoid not because Anoop was not my friend, but the stories of Mumbai, on top of combination of Mumbai and pickpocketing were common in the world, I came from. :))) Yeah this was my first visit to Mumbai.

Next day I had to reach at the studio in Juhu, where I was going to start working. So I took the train from Nalasopara to Andheri. Train was crazily crowded at 6.30 A.M. and I almost fainted while standing in Ladies coach...I have no idea how I got down at Andheri station but I was at right station. According to Anoop, during peak hours, if you can get down at right station, then you are really lucky. I took a rickshaw from Andheri west to Juhu. At my destination the driver asked for Rs 27, and I seriously had a argument with rickshaw wala...Delhi don't have meter rickshaws after all. I was getting used to the "system".......Rest is the history...

In my 10 days trip to Mumabi I just fell in love with Mumbai. I went back to Delhi and with in two months, I was back to the financial capital of India with my luggage and Dreams, never to leave..never to go back, to make it big in life, to be what I am...to be the part of Mumabi aka Bombay.

Alas!!! I had to leave, Mumbai, Hopes, Dreams and alot more for US, for HIM...but thats another History!!!

I am back!!! R came and we decided to watch a movie here at my place itself as our other friend was tired. We saw "Thora Pyaar, Thora magic" it was fun movie, good time pass...R ate my cooking and I ate something as well..he he apne haath ka kaun khaata hai yaar!!!

Anyways, The walk to remember, I wanted to skip this topic...YES!!! truly..cos first I couldn't think of any walk which was a memory to me, then after I put pressure on my crazy mind, I remembered THAT day. Oh boy - THAT DAY!!!

As per my habit I try to remember only happy and beautiful moments inside and around me, rather than sad or sulking moments...and this topic reminds me of one sad time...I am not in mood to live that LAMHA right now so here is the copy paste of my walk to remember from that day!!!!!

"I had a interview in a pretty nominated company in industry. It went well and when I came out of interview, I had a miss call on my new cell(I lost my old one just a day before) I have only one number stored in my phone and it was HIM...I called HIM back and he said that I don't have to take bus and then train to home 'cos he is picking me...I felt good cos am not used to travel by buses or trains. I had to take buses because I don't have car right now. So I waited for some 20 minutes and HE picked me up. HE took me to Culver city as he wanted to meet someone. I said, ok...He finished his meeting and we headed back to valley.

While coming back he said he is very late for his office so he cant drop me home and will take me to his office and I cant go inside his office as he hasn't told his boss that he picked me so I can chill out in some cafe for 15-20 minutes and then when HE will go for his next meeting which is in half an hour, he will take me with him...I had no option so I agreed. I did mentioned that if he can drop me somewhere around house I will walk to will take bus, but he said don't worry will take you home soon. I had no friends number or internet connection with me but I thought its ok, will wait for 20/25 minutes.

So I waited in sharp sunny day at 1.30 in the afternoon...1.40...2.00 he said that meeting is pushed so will leave in sometime. I went to restaurant for food, I was done with food. I relaxed at 2 different places and didn't know what to do so I called him and asked how much more time. He said he will call me back in 5 minutes, so I said fine. I had his car keys so I sat in the car and waited for you....2.20...car is standing in sharp sun...it is very very low on gas, I cant use ac also...I am sitting in it, still waiting..no communications...2.45...I sent text msg that am burning in the car...no reply...2.55...no reply...3.01 he sent msg to me, 2 minutes, I was like thank god....3.10 no reply, no HIM and no patient left in me...I am mad and cant wait in sun with full of sweaty body, thirsty and tired...I sent msg to him BYE...no reply...3.12...enough of wait.

I left his office and started walking towards home, which is approx 3 to 5 miles from HIS office...I was walking in sharp crazy sun and mind is really restless...still walking...no communications...3.27 he called me...I didn't take the call....I was still walking...sun is now burning my face, I was still walking...3.40, he called back again I didn't take the call again and I was crying while walking on street, people who were going around were looking at my face with questions...I was still walking but now am a bit unsure of the way.......he sends me msg...I'm Sorry......I finally found a way to my apartment. I was walking its almost an hour and sun has burnt my face and open skin and my tears are burning on my face....I reached around my apartment...more 10 minutes and I will be inside, a black guy says excuse me, I look at his face, he said do you have a boyfriend, I said yes and I was back to walk, I am downstairs of my apartment and another black guy said hey, beautiful and walked away. I was still crying....I opened door and enter the building...I still didn't forget to take the mail. I reached upstairs and went straight to bedroom, looked at my face in mirror and my face is sharp maroon color.....Sun had burnt my face well.

It reminded me other incident of my life with HIM when I had to run away from my house 'cos he had hit me to death in front of my office people and he had slapped me so hard on face that it was red color all over...today my face has same color...

I don't know what should I call this incident...a domestic violence, a coincident of his busy life or struggle in America."

Today is Indian Independence day...I am out of India and its my second year in a row when I am in USA at this wonderful moment of Indian history...Although I remember the way my neighbors used to celebrate Independence day in Delhi and I used to hate the day for its celebrations...for this day to be in my life. And yeah!! I have another association too, I tasted my first alcohol on August 15 some years back...he he what a day to choose when this day is known Holiday and a dry day in India (dry day in India means its illegal to consume alcohol on that specific day) In India this day is a national holiday and it always seems weird to work on August 15...but I am working since 2 years on same day...and I take it just as a weird fleeting feeling.

Oh well, History wise, India got its independence from British in 1947 while it got torn apart in two pieces. One is India aka Hindustan and another is Pak aka Pakistan. Independence was the biggest need in 1947, specially when all those precious beautiful culture and civilization was getting stolen by Englishmen. Hundreds of Thousands of people gave their lives for India, for its freedom, for its culture, its ethnicity, to have own lives, own choices, own voices for own decisions...Yes, Independence was needed in 1947. Today 61 years after we got free, what did we achieve, what have we gained, what are we doing and how are we saving our culture, our civilization and our ethnicity - This question bug me day and night. My final goals of life are going to be the reply to this question, for myself, for my existence, when I will help my country by working towards it, working with it, with my medium of Documentaries and Pictures...ways to go and tons of dreams to achieve...on my way to that point of life...AMEN!!!!


I was born in India and was raised in Punjab, a Northern state of India. I was raised typical Indian & Punjabi way, special ingredients were both the languages (Punjabi & Hindi) my parents spoke and all kind of North Indian food. I just love both special ingredients as a big part of my life. Now when I live out of India I miss these two things the most in my life, languages and food. To save these special ingredient of my life, my existence I fight back with my own self, I speak in Punjabi and Hindi through out with myself when I think and talk to myself. I try to save the love for Indian food by sharing my love with others...and to explore new ways each day, each ways....ways to go!!!

Another thing I noticed when I first move here that many Indians are stuck in the year they left India. This means if a person, who left India to move to USA in 1960s, that person is still living in India of 1960s...he/she is not grown out of those feelings, culture and styles...although he might have grown up in USA the United States way. This has been a big confusion for me cos I think one can easily accept a lot if they wish to accept. The worse are my kind of people who have left country in 21st century, the time when India is more developed, more progressing and more strong economically. The reason is simple cos we are already very independent mind set and we are all open to the new world in different way than those Indian-Americans, who came in 60s-70s. I sometimes wonder why do they get stuck in these kind of fixed feelings. Is it generation gap or is it THE love for their country which don't let them grow out of fixed emotions? Or may be its the insecurity of loosing your own culture in this kind of county? What is it? Why is this making a normal person a weirdo, a strange human? The answers are yet not here but may be I do have them inside me, hidden inside me...some where, where I don't look much, may be in my behavior of observations....I have the deep urge to find them....

Any which way - Happy Independence day to all friends, readers, known, unknown...all!

I am always very strong person who don't get allergies and who is always fine with any kind of food etc...but since last one year I have been feeling weird allergies or say nasal blockage during summer or dust time. I lived in India for 30 years and I was dealing with dust, dirt, garbage, water over flow and what not on daily basis and I was always fine, I never had any physical reaction more than a word or two about it..but then I moved to USA, a clean and green country, a superficial and smart country...I lived here couple of years and I got used to life and style of America.

I don't know why and how I am facing allergies now a days. I am going through this weird part of summer, air conditioner and dust reactions on my body. I remember it clearly that in India I used to smell a lot of spices all over the kitchen at home, roads side stalls and other places and I used to sneeze in with in few minutes my nose used to be clear and clean, but here....oh well, I don't cook much and on top of that I cant eat as spicy food as before so in home there is no spicy tadka, chawnk etc is possible (well my smoke alarm can call the fire station in seconds too) and we don't experience masala smells on streets either and not even any smells, any smoke of fire etc so my conclusion is simple: I probably always had these allergies(cant take it that I got it in US) but with those smells and tadkas I always got the chance to clean and clear my throat and nose...and here I have to take Claritin-D to keep myself away from congestion and blockage of nose and throat...:(((

I just cant accept myself to that level where I can call myself NRI (non resident Indian) cos I am hard core Indian and I never enjoyed typical NRIs and never wanted to be the one...oh well...I am done writing on this subject as I seems to be hypocrite myself...shame on me!!!

DAMN IT!!!!!!!