India - My Life within and without

मै और मेरी कविता
रोये तुम्हारे वास्ते
तुम रो न सके
न मेरे लिए
न मेरी कविता के वास्ते

मेरा इक, बस इक
आंसू टपका था जो एक बार
तुम्ही ने तो दिया था मुझे कर बेहाल
उस हालत में खा के कसम कहा था
कि आंसू तब टपके अब, गर तुम जिंदा न रहो तो...
तुम रह गए जिंदा और मैं पीती गई आंसू
उन रुके आन्सुयों में डूबी मैं,
भूला न पाई दर्द भी तेरा, प्यार भी मेरा......

और रोती रही दिन रात
बिन आंसू बिन चाह
मेरी कविता तेरे वास्ते
और मेरा प्यार मेरे ख़ुद के वास्ते...

© Vim

कशमकश यह जिन्दगी की न ख़त्म हुई
न कभी ख़त्म हो ही..
जो कश म ओ कश ख़त्म हुई
तो जीने की चाह भी रह जायेगी थम के ही...

© Vim

Life takes turns...sometimes to wards best and sometimes towards no where...all is for the reason. Once I read some where that every one in your life comes for a season or reason. I guess it is true. He came in my life for a reason, I still cant figure that reason out but now when I am moving ahead, leaving him behind me...not actually...he is on his road to different direction, I am on my road. I have my focus and my things in front of me and he has his...It seems as if all the things will come and kill me...as if I will be all alone, but I guess I am still standing strong and I will stay strong.
I met him funny way, I was working with the same boss for an advertisement as him. He saw me and I saw him, it was weird but I felt as if I should have a man like him in my life, who is so concentrating to his work and is not even looking at a beautiful girl around him...which gave me a good impression of his character...then we became friends in few hours....I wasn't sure of the destiny, but he fought with my boy friend to have me on his side and it just shook me and took me in his arms....I was married to him in few months...rest is the history.....A wonderful friend became a husband and we didn't explored each other and then came the practical life...

I had my dreams and theories and he had his believes. We both had problems accepting things and then came the time when I realized the mistake I made, but then it was too late. I could not say bye for ever to him and he had no emotional power to say bye to me. We still were and are madly in love with each other, but love is not everything and it cant satisfy your inner self if it is just a love...nothing else.

So now when we are living apart, life is not treating us very happily. Life want us to go back to each other but thats for today and it has a dark tomorrow and we both want to have a better tomorrow....

Life is important for me........and for him too (I guess) God bless us

Rest later......
(based on some fears, some love and only on reality)

नफरत भी तुझ से
है तुझ ही से मोहब्बत

तू ही मेरा नशा है
है तू ही मेरी सोहबत

फूलों सा महकता है साथ तेरा
गलियारे के खालीपन में गूंजता हर राग तेरा
आवाज़ में तेरी, खनक है सिक्कों सी
आंखों में तेरी, घृणा है रिश्तों की

मैं लौट तो आऊं दर पे तेरे..
क्या पेश करोगे मेरी बंदगी में?

दे पाओगे क्या ...
एक इन्सान ख़ुद के अन्दर से निकाल कर?
वो रख्शस रहित व्यक्तित्व को संवार कर?
वो कंधा जो दे पाए हौंसला
वो हाथ जो दे सकें सहारा
वो अंदाज़ जो दीवाना कर दे
वो प्रेम जो भूला दे...
मुझे

उस मुझ को, जिसे
है नफरत भी तुम से
और है तुझ से ही मोहब्बत...

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