India - My Life within and without

I am close to this one person for last 7-8 months, and this person asked me one fine day about a topic "if my life was perfect, it would be..." First thought, I said, "it would be crap..." and then I wrote about it...almost a page, emailed to that person...but felt like posting the same here. I know that now-a-days, I have only fix readers on my blog, but who cares. I am still enjoying and sharing writing, jo hai, jaisi bhi hai...

If my life was perfect it would look like a crap, boring life. Not that I don’t enjoy stability, or peace, but it is boring to live a life which I have never lived. Well, yes it does go in hands with those thoughts of insecurity of trying something new. I am not denying it probably would have been fun, but probably it would have been a feeling of uncomfortable, and/or a life without any truths in it. (read: I don't like lies and living on surface)

I knew from my childhood that I wasn’t born lucky enough to get whatever I fancy. I dreamed for days and days before I finally saw a glimpse of those things I wanted, forget getting those in my own hands…ha ha Its not that I was unable to get my things my ways in life, I had many chances and I did enjoyed those chances too. But I am aware of hardship and its need in my life.

Life needs some ups and downs, some fun times, and many lessons, so one can enjoy it to fullest. I am not saying that my life was full of fun because it was full of struggle; neither have I said that my life was a crap because I went through lot of shit in life. I know that the bridge I crossed with my marriage and the kind of childhood I lived has brought me where I am today; I am happy today where I have reached. I am also aware that it wasn’t necessary to walk on to the bridge, I walked on, to reach where I am today; but when one gets lost on the way, they have no other option but to choose the only way available, its simple. I did the same, as a simple human being.

If life would be perfect, maybe I would be another kind of fun person, working on the kind of things I had passion for. May be I was still living in Mumbai, as an actress, Or maybe I was still doing theater and enjoying those moments with my little family; a husband and 1 or 2 kids, but may be…may be not! May be I was a frustrated wife, or a happy wife who is upto nothing...or may be a business woman, or a usual next door woman....who knows!

On the other note, if life would be perfect, I might have changed the meaning of perfection…

If life would be perfect, it probably would have pretty mechanical; pretty same routine for each day. I didn’t choose my destination, and I didn’t choose the path either, but when I have reached here, then why don’t I live today instead of looking back and regretting what I never got. I rather not cry for those moments which were never mine, but I rather live what I have today!!!

I am sorry, I can’t stay negative for long…and crying about what I don’t have seems like a cry baby topic, especially now when I have already written a page about it…phew!!!

Last thought: what is perfect life?