India - My Life within and without

Few more thoughts from the funky head of V...

• Friends, family, co-workers, batch mates, neighbors....all will go their own ways; one day it will happen. The time will come when we will be left alone, and the time will come when we will need to be on our own, with only ourselves. I'm happy I am not dependent on anyone right now, and I feel happier that I don't want to be dependent on anyone in future. I want to be by myself, now and forever.
• I want to accept the feeling of being alone, with myself and still productive and creative. Truth of the matter is, yesterday never came, tomorrow might won't show up, all I have is today and accepting self in today is a one of the basic need for me now on - I want to live peacefully and productive while exploring the world, and while I feel free without any judgments, for self and for others!
• Like many others, I see dreams: funky, funny, sweet, hidden dreams, they include moments of me living the way I choose to, the way I am acceptable within me; this satisfy some parts of my soul.
• Also on the productive note: I want to make sure that when I get a contact or an introduction, I am able to use it in a right positive way.
• I want to make sure that I am making use of my abilities, in a positive form, and to help others learn and achieve their dreams.
• I hope to follow my path, until I meet my goals, though I am sure that with over the period of time, the path may change, the goals might take different shape, but I hope I still stay focused.
• Question to self at this very moment: why am I not able to live the moment and forget the needs and issues related to it? Why am I trying to analyze myself, all the time , why do I question my life, my work and my abilities? Is it normal? Not that I am doing it insanely, but many times I need to just let go and my mind refuses to let go.
• Living, somewhere it is all about control!!! When we let go of control, we tend to enjoy the moment. Wish I can let go of control, on myself, on others and to know the world more and more.
• I wish I can enjoy the thought of being with someone and when I am with this person, sitting and holding him intimately, I am able to shut my fcuking mind. Sometimes I can't let go and that makes me feel freaked out, as a result I sometimes say or do things, which is not me and what is inappropriate! Damn crazy mind!

With age I am able to talk more truth, and to accept my mistakes, my negative points!!!

Thank you lord for helping me understand this madness called human being!!!

~V