I do, I hear America crying everyday when I reach at work. When I see my little teenage kids I work with, when I hear another homeless kid on the block, when I see a new teenager at one of our recovery homes...I see America crying...
Two days ago, I was about to leave for work in the night and as usual radio was on and Dick Gordon was presenting "The Story"
I, one of the biggest fan of Dick's work and stories, suddenly found myself frozen when I heard this poem from high school teacher, who recite his student's work. I don't know who the owner of this poem is and who wrote it, but I do want to share it here for all my readers and my fellows. If the author reads this poem, please do contact me so I can give you credit as a writer.
Here is 'the story' presented by Dick Gordon...good work.
The poem is based on Whitmen's song "I hear America singing" This poem is called "I hear America Crying..."
I hear America crying the very carols I hear those of single mother each one crying to sleep at night as they try to brainstorm new ways to make ends meet The little boy crying for a father figure some one who he can look up to and teach him how to be a man the addict in every family crying as he or she struggle to stay clean just so that he or she can win back custody of their child the young teenage mother crying, hoping she will be able to graduate high school and not become another teen statistic the father crying behind the bars as he try to explain to his only daughter, how come daddy isn't home the insecure girl within all of women crying as we struggle daily to learn how to love ourselves, unconditionally the awful cry of a single mother or the little boy or the addict each crying about what eats up with them... the day that belongs today, at night the party of young fellows upset, disappointing, singing with open mouths their strong melodies songs...
I hear America crying...
Vim On a mission - looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.
It was first night of their wedding. They were still unknown to each other. They met through the meeting their parents arranged. He seemed to be a shy guy with tendency to live on his own, in to his own world. She was a very obedient daughter of unwanted parents.
Marriage was the only way out for him; the way for keeping the crap out of his life, given by his own tradition parents. Marriage was the only way out for her to the broad world out of parents house. She had hopes, she had dreams, he had dreams and he knew how to get hopes. She needed approval of her new husband, to be the one she always wanted to be. He needed to be truthful to be the one he actually was - a man!
He came in to the bed room. She was sitting on bed, wearing her wedding dress, with anticipations and unexpected fears. Her shoulders went deep in to her chest. The rush feeling of blushing took over her, when he touched her face. While they both were looking in to each others eyes, he started the talk, 'listen I'm your husband now and you have to follow me from now on, no other person matters in your life anymore.' She looked down to her feet, blushing feeling was gone, cheeks were still red. He continued, ' Listen to what I'm telling you now, remember clearly to keep it to you and only you, get that?' She nodded yes. He said,'I have no interest in women because I am a gay, so don't expect anything from me, cause you are not gonna get it, okay? She had her eyes fixed on his face, his eyes were blood shot, wandering around. He said his last words,'I married you because my parents would have never approve this sexual orientation in me, and also I have a job where I'm supposed to work a bit low key and all. I will give you good money to do shopping or whatever each month, and in return you will take care of my parents, and my friends when they visit here, samjh gayi na?'
She wanted to say something but the talk was over before it started. She was able to see the extended tunnel, from her parents house to her husband's house to the unknown destination....and this time there was no light at the end.
It was a hot summer day in the US. People were dying to take their cloths off and sit under shade or in an air conditioned room. They both were walking down the street. He was wearing nice thin cotton tee, and khaki shorts to kill the summer in his own way, she was covered in burqa from head to toe, and was wearing heavy Indian dress inside the burqa...He was looking at naked legs of women, and cleavages of all the females around him. She hardly had two inches of vision from burqa...
It was his idea to cover his wife properly, after all the men around are just too pervert...
She said I will fulfill my promise, I will live up to all the vows I took at our wedding with patience, love and acceptance.
He said I promise to take care of you and will live better than I mentioned in my vows to keep you happy, and to satisfy our love.
She took every spanking, every slap, every fist and every curse with acceptance. He gave every spank, every slap, every fist and every curse with his passion, to her, for his hearts satisfaction!
Once upon a time, there was a little girl, running around in her parents place, the place which was getting built. She was hardly 8 years old, or may be 9. She was wearing a dress, flower colors, pastels and frills...she wanted to play with sand, with bricks, with cement and with every dirty thing available there. Few laborers, who were busy working, were also busy staring at her, trying to look inside her dress...they made her play dirtiest games...with the most dirtiest things on the earth....their organ, their bodies and their perverted minds.....
Her life never turned like any other girl of the world. She was given the life, she didn't want, and now at the age of 34,that life is still with her as a shadow...
I am emotionally weary, tired, messed up. I need to practice my meditation. I need to start Yoga... peace V Peace...1...2...3...4...5...!!!
Here are few random thoughts which are moving like slides in front of my eyes...
I am seeing the first day I saw him; I saw 'J' the day he came first time there, I didn't pay any attention to him, and guess he didn't either. When I saw him properly next time at other place of the same house, we exchanged hello and a smile. I felt a funny feeling, he is something...I guess he surely is. He is becoming part of messed up emotions...and I am messing up.
I know I have issues, regarding privacy...I am sure we all have, in different ways!
I am kicking my butt myself, by not reading, drafting and editing the finished script. I am messing up with my writings, my work...
I cant just say NO...to anyone. I am a mess...I need to say NO...to 'T', to 'J' and to many...for many things, many feelings and for many lost connections.
I saw a dream today, when I was half awake, half asleep. I slept very early last night so I woke up at 3 AM, obviously not the right time to be up at, so I tried to go back to sleep....and I saw this dream!!
I was on my bed and dead...and people calling me on my cellphone, sending me text messages and emails, but no one knocked at my door though and as I was dead, I am not taking calls, messages, emails.....for days. no one bothered to do anything about it. No one will do it either. In the present situation of the world, everyone is busy and everyone has a life of their own. No one wants to feel disturbed, so no one disturb others either. So anyways, after few days when I didn't return any phone call, any message, a friend came over and saw my car outside, knocked on my door and I don't know how, but she came inside...after opening the door she smelled the dead body, and she got scared and left without informing anyone......!!!!
This is call solitude and solitaire living!!!
Funniest is I saw all this happening...and I recognized that friend too...Nah!!! I wont tell who she was :P
Nah friends, I don't want pity or sympathy, but I do want to share this weird dream.....Dreams: thousands dreams to live for..and hundred thousands to die with!!
हजारों ख्वाईशें ऐसी की हर ख्वाइश पे दम निकले बहुत निकले मेरे अरमान, लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले...
I am feeling desperate once again in life, its like a routine which is keep coming back to me every few days or sometimes in few months...aaaagggrrrrhhhh!!!!
I need to take few decisions, those which are not impressed or influenced by emotions, current situations and/or my passion. I know people always say to do what you are passionate about, but its not right way for me, well not always. I was passionate about theater, acting...I made myself a big failure...or say I had to quit. I was passionate about marriage, kids and having the family of my own...I failed badly.
I wanna do something, something which is really strong, something which is myself...my thoughts, my inside...my passion...how and what I can do, is the question...I know I am I am not that strong emotionally, right now. I want to kill this desperation inside me. I wish I can take decision, I wish I can make my life strong and happy for all the moments of ever after - made by me...:)))
I was sad and unhappy when I saw the results of Prop 8. At one point I was feeling good to see a black guy and a young blood becoming the President of United States of America. It made me hopeful, and happy for the way people are accepting the change. Then I saw the results of Prop 8, and I seriously cursed. I cursed to all those people, who call themselves religious, but who have no emotion to give happiness to others, who have no sense of equality for human rights. I was sad and felt as if choosing Barack Obama is probably not the change, may be its just...something on surface.
Well, I was sure that the percentage difference wont be much between YES and NO on prop 8, but at least in CA, the expectations were different, the hope of giving chance to people to be human, and to be equal was the need. I personally expected, that prop 8 will not pass and this law will get its right shape. I was sad to see few of my gay friends, crying and feeling hopeless. They have the right to have a family, a life, a commitment, don't they?
On another note, I guess, soon this will create another history. When discrimination and hatred will be taken away by force, by a law. My hopes are on Gavin Newsom, and his better policies for the state of California.
God Bless America!!! ha ha ha, Oh BOY!!! I can't stop laughing at myself...cos I know how many changes, politically, I have noticed in myself due to these elections. Well, change is a need and I am open to change.
I wish those rigid religious people can change themselves too for the betterment of families and happiness.
read more about prop 8 at http://www.noonprop8.com/
Diwali is around the corner and I have no worries. I am not decorating the house, not buying new cloths, not going to live a life, I used to live, in India at Diwali time and obviously...I am not celebrating it. Not a deliberate decision but I can't, its just not happening. May be because, I have no one to celebrate it with or may be I choose not to celebrate.
Last year, I had HIM...this year I have no one. I know that was the time when I was ignoring, when I was getting ignored, when we were not quite talking to each other, when we were not ourselves, but then I had a hope of celebrations with him...a hope of going to neighbors and distributing candles and candies...and feeling good about it. I enjoyed those moments those ways...now its new world, new life :-)
Well to be frank, I have another hope in life now. I have other things to deal with. Shayad isi ko kehte hain - Celebrating, my festivals my ways..not traditional ways any more...reason is not US the A but I am my reason for the change...and remember Change is the only constant thing which is keep changing...So I am change...I am self!
The best part is Today I received my Diwali gift from India..my lovely friends sent it to me...Sweets and Coin. I cried, cos someone there loves me, cares for me. There is someone who I didn't hurt, and there is someone who doesn't hurt me. I know, My family will never ever send anything to me, by post, by courier or even with anyone. They will always say ki poocha to tha, tune nahin bataya ki kya chahiye. Oh ya!!!! I know why they don't send anything ever, cos its expensive to send gifts to anyone...specially their own daughter, own sister, own sibling. Well, its not expensive to receive...oh well no complains. I am happy cos I do have family...there are tons who have no one...
Today or say right now, I am high on life, My two articles got printed in news paper, my lovely friends sent me gifts for Diwali...I am working my ways up in life...and I am happy, peaceful and most important ALIVE!
Thank you friends for being there and being my family...Love you!!!!
Last night when we came to know about Bomb blasts in local western railway trains of Mumabi, it sounded like a stupid rumor because it was really unbelievable that in 10-12 minutes 7 blasts have happened. But yes it was true and it has destroyed the peace and movement of life for almost everyone in the city. Luckily I was at home and HE was at his office when all this disaster took place. HE was traveling by car and I was unable to contact him. All the phone lines were congested like anything. Thank God, I was online and he sent me his well being on messenger. Around 7 in the night he sent me message that am leaving office which is hardly 8/10 kms (5/6 miles) away from our home and it take 20/25 minutes on normal day and I expected that due to train bomb blasts, people must be taking road route now, so it will be crowded. But after an hour I started getting worried, his phone was also not reachable and in most of my neighbors were at home. Finally I went down stairs of my building and started looking and walking around as if I can keep my mind relax and at ease....that was the time when our security guard of building came and talked to me about how his brother is also stuck some where.
Anyway after two and half hours, HE finally reached safe and secure home. He said that traffic was at its worse. At this time incoming on phones had started and I was able to spoke to HIS parents in US and sent messages to my parents in CHD. Slowly slowly life started coming back on track but everyone was still shaken up and pretty abnormal. Our neighbor aunty and all friends who live around us were home and safe.
Around 12 in the night we bought lots of biscuits and distributed at highway to those people who were sitting in buses and taxis for hours. they were hungry and desperate to go home. We tried to drop some people to their houses and gave lifts to people who stay close to our home. Around 4.30 in the morning we went to sleep and our hearts were full of anger, madness, roughness and rage but at the same time our hearts were giving salute to people of Mumbai for their high spirit and helpful nature, for coming ahead and giving hand to others in troubles, floods or bomb blasts. I salute Mumabi, to Mumbai's spirit....
I am back!!! R came and we decided to watch a movie here at my place itself as our other friend was tired. We saw "Thora Pyaar, Thora magic" it was fun movie, good time pass...R ate my cooking and I ate something as well..he he apne haath ka kaun khaata hai yaar!!!
Anyways, The walk to remember, I wanted to skip this topic...YES!!! truly..cos first I couldn't think of any walk which was a memory to me, then after I put pressure on my crazy mind, I remembered THAT day. Oh boy - THAT DAY!!!
As per my habit I try to remember only happy and beautiful moments inside and around me, rather than sad or sulking moments...and this topic reminds me of one sad time...I am not in mood to live that LAMHA right now so here is the copy paste of my walk to remember from that day!!!!!
"I had a interview in a pretty nominated company in industry. It went well and when I came out of interview, I had a miss call on my new cell(I lost my old one just a day before) I have only one number stored in my phone and it was HIM...I called HIM back and he said that I don't have to take bus and then train to home 'cos he is picking me...I felt good cos am not used to travel by buses or trains. I had to take buses because I don't have car right now. So I waited for some 20 minutes and HE picked me up. HE took me to Culver city as he wanted to meet someone. I said, ok...He finished his meeting and we headed back to valley.
While coming back he said he is very late for his office so he cant drop me home and will take me to his office and I cant go inside his office as he hasn't told his boss that he picked me so I can chill out in some cafe for 15-20 minutes and then when HE will go for his next meeting which is in half an hour, he will take me with him...I had no option so I agreed. I did mentioned that if he can drop me somewhere around house I will walk to will take bus, but he said don't worry will take you home soon. I had no friends number or internet connection with me but I thought its ok, will wait for 20/25 minutes.
So I waited in sharp sunny day at 1.30 in the afternoon...1.40...2.00 he said that meeting is pushed so will leave in sometime. I went to restaurant for food, I was done with food. I relaxed at 2 different places and didn't know what to do so I called him and asked how much more time. He said he will call me back in 5 minutes, so I said fine. I had his car keys so I sat in the car and waited for you....2.20...car is standing in sharp sun...it is very very low on gas, I cant use ac also...I am sitting in it, still waiting..no communications...2.45...I sent text msg that am burning in the car...no reply...2.55...no reply...3.01 he sent msg to me, 2 minutes, I was like thank god....3.10 no reply, no HIM and no patient left in me...I am mad and cant wait in sun with full of sweaty body, thirsty and tired...I sent msg to him BYE...no reply...3.12...enough of wait.
I left his office and started walking towards home, which is approx 3 to 5 miles from HIS office...I was walking in sharp crazy sun and mind is really restless...still walking...no communications...3.27 he called me...I didn't take the call....I was still walking...sun is now burning my face, I was still walking...3.40, he called back again I didn't take the call again and I was crying while walking on street, people who were going around were looking at my face with questions...I was still walking but now am a bit unsure of the way.......he sends me msg...I'm Sorry......I finally found a way to my apartment. I was walking its almost an hour and sun has burnt my face and open skin and my tears are burning on my face....I reached around my apartment...more 10 minutes and I will be inside, a black guy says excuse me, I look at his face, he said do you have a boyfriend, I said yes and I was back to walk, I am downstairs of my apartment and another black guy said hey, beautiful and walked away. I was still crying....I opened door and enter the building...I still didn't forget to take the mail. I reached upstairs and went straight to bedroom, looked at my face in mirror and my face is sharp maroon color.....Sun had burnt my face well.
It reminded me other incident of my life with HIM when I had to run away from my house 'cos he had hit me to death in front of my office people and he had slapped me so hard on face that it was red color all over...today my face has same color...
I don't know what should I call this incident...a domestic violence, a coincident of his busy life or struggle in America."
Have you seen death...have you seen it coming right in front of your eyes and asking you if you want to die or not...and then if you r weak it takes you away from this beautiful world, the world you probably have not seen yet, the world which is not even your own yet...Death takes u away...and then you have no connection with this world?
I have seen death, right in front of my eyes, coming towards me and showing me that I am worth a lot for this world. I have seen death not less than 3 times. I always give 3 chances before I quit anything, and I have quit to be with the man who has brought me to the point where I saw death...I gave more than 3 chances to HIM before he showed me what death is...I saw death first time, the very first time when he was choking me to death, sitting on my chest and pressing against my throat with one hand and his knees were on my both arms so I cant move them, and his one hand was slapping me over and over again.....I saw death...I saw blackout and I saw DEATH...I gave another chance to him cos he regretted so many times for making me go through that moment...I gave him chance, second time he showed me death when he again choked me next to that metal closet in my bedroom in Mumbai and he was pushing me against it and it was next to wall and it had no room to move any more &v I had no room to move more....I saw death, I didn't blacked out that time but I saw it coming towards me and I have no clue how I stopped it, third and last time I saw death on freeway 101 while going to Brooks institute where I wanted to study and help me make my life in US with him. I saw death coming right in front of my face, when he was hitting me with his one hand and another hand was on steering wheel and he was driving 110 miles per hour....I saw death right in front of my eyes and I was weak.....I was weak but I guess death saw some strength in me and it stopped right away and HE took an exit and I got down his car at that very moment...and I never went back to his place to live, I moved out that very day and I no matter how much I tried I could not give up on him....
Then came the time when I saw a world of my own emotions, of my own hopes and my own expectations, and then I tried to give up on him. I wanted to gave up on my husband, but my emotions were kept holding me back. I talked to a close friend. I never expected that I will ever discuss this with him. He told me that I am precious and I am worth it and then I tried to cut my relations with this friend of mine. Just because he told me THE truth and it was a harsh truth and I was escaping truth........
I finally talked to myself, it took me sometime to realize that I am actually worth it and I can do it all alone by myself.
Today, I am giving up on my husband, today I am giving up on him and I am done with him. I want to finish this relationship cos I feel I am really worth living in this world and I am precious.....I want to live, with out seeing death coming on my face............I deserve to live... PERIOD.
I saw this video while doing some work on youtube...and now I watch it everyday, not because it is wonderfully made but because it keeps me on my track about future.
Please visit This Blog for more reading about unwanted girl child in India.
I want to ask you one thing, Why do we as woman treat other woman as if they are cheap, bad or unwanted? As mother-in-laws or sisters or daughters or generally as woman with a woman.....why do we do it?
I remember my friend's mother used to behave with her own daughter as if she was a bad Oman for family or she was not human or something like that, and it was her own real Mother...it makes me think as if she was the unwanted girl child...She was taken out of school in 7th grade, and she used to help her mother in house and by the time we reached 9th grade, she was married and this is in Chandigarh, a big educated city. We few friends went to visit her new place where she moved after one year of her married life, and what I saw was scary, it was our first friend who got married. I was scared of life after marriage.....it was a dirty one room with no kitchen, she was cooking in the corner of that room, on stove(the old style stove, not gas stove) while she was serving her husband and taking care of her few month old baby...her husband was yelling at her and he was behaving as if we don't exist in that room...I felt so bad. The worse was when she started yelling at her own little daughter for taking birth.....she thought the problem was her daughter.....OH!!!!!!!!!!
I felt ashamed of being a girl...I was just 14 years old and I wanted to live for my life, not for husband. We were her bad friend cos we never went to visit her again....I have no clue where she is at this point, and what is her life now.
Jyoti, I wish you are fine, safe, happy and healthy.
I saw a movie last night, Maya, Directed by Digvijay Singh. This movie is based on Sexual abuse to young girls on behalf of tradition & rituals. In the movie it shows that priests, so called holy priests, have sex with the 12 year old girl when she gets her fist menstrual periods. You must be thinking, Is It True? YES IT IS...and thats what has haunted me and I am bothered. As a Human and a girl from India it bothered me, cos rape and molestation is not a right way of living and on top of it when it happens to a 10-12 years old girl, that too on behalf of making her pure after her first menstrual periods starts, it is a abuse, it is a crime and it should stop...I want help from all friends from allover, who can help, who want it to stop.
About this tradition: Later I goggled about this Tradition, Director and the Movie...and found that this tradition does exist in some rural part of South India and its still there, may be not openly but its there...WHY...Why does it exist and Who made this tradition? I cant understand how & why someone would do so? How can the person, who believes in God can do this? Doesn't it haunt their conscience and souls? Doesn't it bother them, their lives, their faith and hearts?
As a film maker. I felt irritated, as Director could have made it a better movie and this could have been helpful to those young girls, but I felt as if he just wanted to make a controversial movie and win some awards and/or money...As a Director he hasn't put his own SAYING in it more than telling a story. Director should have his own point of view, otherwise why everyone who has a good story don't become a director?
I related this movie directly to 'Water'...that movie also made me feel uncomfortable. But Director's vision made it easy to understand it and that tradition is commonly spread in all over India too.
My question to you all of you is How can we let it happen, when are WE going to stop it? if you all believe in stopping it, lets all step further and do something about it, more than signing a petition, more than just telling everyone. Let us all get together and do something about it. If you have any point towards it, please discuss and put your name and contact info, we all Can make change.
Its December....14, 2007. A morning of my life here....
Aaj mann udaas hai....A Punjabi taxi driver's family lives in my building. A very nice guy, wonderful kid and wife, she has moved here 2 and half years back...that time her kid was 5 months old and now almost 3...she wanted to go to India for Diwali cos her Mother In Law was insisting but after seeing the prices of flights she refused and didn't planned anything. lately she always was talking about going to India, She is been eager to go back as she is from a conservative Punjabi village and have never lived out of Punjab before and for her, life in US is different & difficult. She always use to dream of going back once, happily, taking gifts for her family. she use to talk always that may be if I go back once, it will help me understanding my life and its importance here...cos I will do things I never had the chance to do before, may be I will feel better. Ya may be going back happily, showing her family new live she has gained and the new style she observed in US....and all that.......she had one dream, just to go back once, happily and relax.....
Today Morning, she called me saying she is going to India I was exited and happy for her. I said wow!!! when? She started crying.....I didn't knew what has happened...then she gained her consciousness and told me her Mother in Law passed away last night and they are leaving for India in 10 minutes....in emergency....
I also want to go to India....but am scared...am scared to go to India in emergencies...in sadness, in mood which makes me hate living away from family, from my that life.
Today, all of a sudden while coming to office, I felt as if I am stuck in a life, in this moment and in this country. Its not that I don't like this country or I cant find my ways out...but its just weird feeling cos am feeling stuck in a monotonous job, in one specific relationship and in a feelings of emotions of being me. So I am going through some questions and some feelings with in me, I am writing here as well.
Planning : I should join some school, so I can achieve things faster than I am getting, but what course? which college? when and how? I know its easy to get money(actually on credit cards mostly) and its a lot easier to spend here, cos you have nothing to do but shopping and drinking.
Food - Ya, its available, in every corner, almost similar price for junk or non junk...healthy will cost you if you buy from store, if you don't buy its cheapest...or make food at at home, but I hardly cook now a days. Reason - NONE
Time : I wakes up exact one and half hour before I leave my place. By the time I reach home, I am so dead and frustrated, that I don't feel like cooking or even living for one more day.
Life : Doesn't suck as much it sounds here, but may be it does...am confused on that part....and I will be confused for lifetime...hey this is what life is.
Work : OH ya, I do job, every one is happy but me that I have job. I don't earn worth my abilities, but better than nothing so I HAVE to say that wow!!! I have a job.
Home : 4 walls, some furniture, a Roof and 2 cats..I have everything....oh ya and a husband as well.
Vacation : I forgot what it is, cos I haven't taken in ages. In India we use to do a bit here and there kinds things, so those memories I have, but not the feeling of vacation.
Exploring : Those are the moments which make me feel real alive, I enjoy it and I love it. I love taking pics and sharing my happiest moments. We do it here as well, but rarely, wish we could do more.
Driving : I thought I could drive well, cos I am not scared of driving anymore...but illusions does break one day.
Laughter : Only PJ's make me laugh out loud, but isn't thats healthy?
Beauty : I don't like it anymore....am better as a chasmish, grey hair and lost dressed kinda person, why? I do have my own reasons but better not to go there.
Priorities : I do have mine, but are they perfect one?
I went to Little India town today...I expected myself to be jumping and happy and having fun in there, but it was just normal feeling to me, I took it as if I am in any other part of US. This time I went after a month or so, still I wasn't very cheerful and very exited...so did America have really changed me? Why did it seems like any other part of America? Am defiantly scared and weird out....what the hell is going on with me? Gosh!!!!!!! I did got some experience which will help me write new things for me...but that later, right now...I need to hold that moment inside me.
Its easy to say we should live happy and positive...but is it true that we can live this way and that too easily?
Actually yes it is...try to forget what is making you negative and to forget make sure you hate that specific moment not the person not the emotion and not even the reason for that moment just hate that specific moment...and you will feel like flying high in the sky (without any drugs) I did it in past and I actually felt good about it later on...I am trying once again..but this time its "YOU" who is bothering me, whose emotions make me come back and who's touch make me feel I am alive...I do hate you and I wish I could love you for lifetime...AH...its no one else its my MUMBAI.
How much I wanna forget the moments I have lived with you and how much I wanna live those moments again...well, life is not as small too that I cant go back to Mumbai and live those moments once again....I wish it just happen more faster than its possible.
WISHES..NEVER ENDING WISHES LIFE ENDS FASTER WISHES NEVER END I DONT WANNA END WITH MY UNDEAD WISHES I WANNA LIVE MY WISHES... TODAY AND TOMORROW AND FOREVER...
