India - My Life within and without

As a kid I loved karva chauth.

This fast was kept by my mom through out her life for long lasting healthy life my father. Mummy starved herself and on top of it she wasn't allowed to drink water either, until the moon comes out and she will do some prayers for my father, touch his feet, seek his blessings and then he will give her water to drink. I saw this event over and over again, for years. I tried to be part of it when I was teenage, but then I had tons of questions to ask all the time like "why don't papa keep the fast? Why only women keep the fast? etc etc" I never got the reply to my questions but I found my answers when I grew older. With answers I noticed that traditionally every best thing was given as a gift to MEN and every chore and hardship was available to women, that too as favor.

Now who knows who made this ritual, but I know one simple thing that my father never starve for my Mom or for himself, neither any of my relative, friends or neighbors. They silently watch their wives starve for the whole day and at the end of the night they yelled at her, "where is food...if you are fasting why do I have to wait for moon to come out."

When I got married, my husband told me," I don't want you to starve for me so please don't keep the fast" My lovely traditional mom yelled at him and tried to explain the reasons for fast in her broken but cute English, but he refused to listen and looked at me as if if I keep the fast, he wont speak to me ever. I smiled back at him each time he gave me that look and it calmed both of us.

I never starved, not for him, not for myself and not even for my traditions...I still am a good Indian girl.

Vim