India - My Life within and without

Okay, the topic came in my mind after someone mentioned that I should have a blog about the issues I have with Indians. I will not be able to carry another blog about India, Indians, and about me....enough is enough! But I am willing to give words to those thoughts, which bother me, and which are part of me...somehow, somewhere.

* To start with I would say: somewhere in my own heart, which is typical Indian, still - I hate few types of Indians; especially those who judge, those who think they are the ONLY great ones, who have double standards, and those who don’t have answers for traditions, but they follows them blindly and also those who doesn't know what they want & if they do, why...

* I have been questioned many times that why do I feel uncomfortable around few Indians, and why I don’t like certain Indians. Many times, I do want to say that I don’t relate to them, I do want to utter that they suck, I do want to declare that they are stuck at the old & at crap times and I want to pronounce loud that I have grown out of them, but I don’t say more than I am expected to speak. I don’t know why, but I do know, just because I don’t like all kind of Indians, I am always been judged, and I am always at the edge of getting talked out of and I’m always knows as rebel Indian Hindu. I am kind of getting used to it, but it still bothers me sometimes when people ask me over and over again: why don't you like FEW Indians?

* For V...Romanticism, and love is not coming back home to cook dinner for the guy who doesn’t even care what and how I have cooked; love and romance is about sharing those moments of cooking for someone special, and sharing those moment with the one who wants to be with me; not with my art of cooking. I know it is a default assumption of Indian society and culture that a woman cooks and man eats, but I don't live with that typicality!

* Sex is not the action which wife/woman gives, and husband/man takes it, neither it is a chore which every husband-wife/Guy-Girl should do before going to sleep, but sex is an act of passion and love, where one partner gives and another takes, and then another gives and one takes. It is an act of passion for give and take between two bodies who wants to be with each other. I also believe that sex is not limited to marriage as they tried to teach me in my childhood. For V, the sex should be open emotion between two partners even if both the partners are two guys or two girls or just two people from opposite sex.

* I trust that gays exist and they always were there in ALL societies, even in Indian society; one accepts or not, they are going no where...

* According to my experience in US, I have seen many non resident Indians, who left India some 20 or 30 or 40 years back and they are still stuck in the India of 60s, 70s 80s and 90s…and they STILL can’t accept the truth of today's India. It is also hard for them to accept those, who have accepted living in today's technologically strong and modern India.

* I love Indian food, Indian cloths and Indian culture; I would never want to be born in any other culture ever, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t like any other country’s culture, food, or cloths. I am a free human and I am allowed to like what I feel comfortable with. If someone else doesn't like any other country's food or culture, to hell with them!

* I hate, seriously, I do hate, when any human is put in to the situation, where he/she has to live with discrimination or with the fear in their heart that they are not accepted in the society, just because either they look different than the larger group Or their accent is different Or their thoughts, are not accepted by the so called society.

* I don’t like the way many Indian parents raise their kids, even if they are living in the country like the USA. They refuse many good opportunities, just because those opportunities are not Indians. I personally would love to give my culture, my language and my special fun parts of being Indian to my kid and I will teach my best about my Indian culture to my baby, but I wouldn’t keep them away from the reality either.

*I know I am free human, free bird and a free woman; not because I can make my money and spend the way I want to, but because I am allowed to take my own decisions, the way I want to and the way I think it’s right, not the way society thinks it’s perfect.

* I wear jeans and tees, not because they are American or western clothing but because I feel comfortable in them and because I was raised wearing them. I love to wear a saree or Indian suits, but I don’t find myself fit in saree or suits for every occasion and for every day chores. My mom wears them and I love seeing her in those cloths.

* I do judge people. Especially when they judge me as a person, and on behalf of my being brown, on behalf of my accent, my race, my gender and also on behalf of my bank balance.

* I love myself and will not allow anyone to hurt me anymore. I was there once, but I am not there anymore…and I am proud of myself from getting out of that crap. I would love to help others to get out of crap situations of life, but before that one should be ready to be out...no one can help any one if they are not ready to take the help.

* I still believe that relationships are all about adjustments and giving up on many things, many thoughts in life. I am happy for those, who live happily even after all adjustments and sacrifices but for now I don't trust myself on giving up anything for anyone, anymore.

* I am a religious person, a born Hindu, but that doesn’t make me hate other religions. I belong to the spiritual power of humanity. I trust the eternal power of unseen god, and I have deep faith in myself. These two beliefs make me stronger with each day.

* I am a female and I will never want to be born as a male, not because I hate men, but because I love being a female. Being a female is not doing make up, going shopping every other day or even dressing up, being a female for me is loving, giving and being pure inside out.

* I love cooking but I can never cook for the man who doesn’t appreciate me as a person. I naturally get a specific look on my face when I am around those people who make me feel uncomfortable, especially traditionally.

* I never agreed on this fact that woman or females are the object of fantasy, and I can never agree on that.

* I trust that woman is not the enemy of woman, as they say in Indian society, but I think woman go through a lot and tend to become too cautious, which makes them try to save other woman by giving them hard time and making them understand the world with their eyes. I wish I could just change the attitude of this giving feeling, but I don't care too much, even if it never will get changed.

I have a lot more to add to this, but for today...I rather end this thought here, with the feeling of being "THE V" and with the love I give to my world!
Peace!!